Wolfville- Roubaix, Cabot Trail in a Day, Tour De Nowhere and Jambro are all legendary rides that hang proud in the halls of Nova Scotia cycling lore. Add a new member to this perverse club of suffering: The Bear Scare 80. The idea was simple- host a 'everyone's welcome but take no prisoners' 80k mtb ride on a single loop that crosses hell's half acre known as The Mersey woods. Many old skoolers have done this route and continue to do so but they guard their trail secrets like old trappers with bad cases of beaver fever. Several scouting sessions by the WBL cadre in May and June were required to finally flesh out a course that combined high speed logging road with some teeth gnashing ATV trails. No less than 2 bear encounters led to the rythmic handle of 'Bear Scare.'
The event was posted, the course was marked and Camelbaks were locked and loaded for Aug 2nd. 21 adventurous souls- you know the types...marketers call them 'early adopters', psychologists call them ‘Type A’s’, their non-cycling friends jealously refer to them as ‘overachievers’- showed up on race day ready to stake their claim for gold, guts and glory. These types are not defined so much by speed- since some are uber fast and some hold a more modest tempo -but they all share the ‘suffer chromosome’ that makes them salivate at the thought of unnecessarily inflicting The Hurt on themselves. A notable absence was Mac-10 who was suffering from a UPI the previous week. Fortunately a gap on the National Calendar saw the heaviest of the mtb hitters- TYG- in town and ready to break some legs. The long lost prodigal son of NS cycling, Kevin Noiles (aka: The Noilinator) threw his ‘recently retired from the Pro life but still ridiculously fit’ ass in the ring too. Nick the Flying Scotsman of 1990’s vintage also showed up to add to the mythology of characters.
A psyched pack rolled out casually and confidently from the Bike and Bean Train Station in Tantallon and in true Wolfville-Roubaix style rode a mellow opening 8 kms to ensure that some on-the-bike socializing could germinate. Although a bit of barking and nipping began to appear after the 8k marker generally everyone was playing nicer than a Sunday school picnic until TYG began to crack the throttle briefly if only to inform the heavyweights that the day’s results weren’t open for debate.
At 20k someone cockily remarked that the main logging road was like a highway. The Gods of Lactic Acid charged their lightening bolts and the race immediately turned onto the Bear Blister- a 10km section of beat to hell logging road that featured some short snappy climbs, washouts and an increasingly narrow atv trail that finally dumps riders into a muddy trench straight out of The Western Front. It was on this Bear Blister that all hell broke loose as TYG and Chops drove the pace while desperados such as The Old Man, Noilinator, Simmer, JB, The Kluester, RG and Green Shorts Guy flailed away to hang on. Elbows were flying, jerseys were being madison’ed off of and head butts were numerous enough to make Mike Tyson proud as riders fought for placement heading into the tight doubletrack at Defcon 5. Minutes later when the course erupted back onto the dusty logging road the KIA’s and WIA’s were added up. The bloodshed surpassed an entire season of American Logger episodes. The lead group had been chopped down dramatically with TYG’s 550 watt saw.
The cutting crew of TYG, Chops, The Old Man, JB and Noilinator continued rolling steady on the front for another 20k until, again, TYG threw in a from-the-front, check–this-shit-out attack on the flat open fireroad that cast off our favourite firefighter and the ever-suffering BC ‘home for a nice relaxing visit’ Noiles. Although they would get back on this pattern would be repeated ad nauseam as TYG demonstated who the newschool Patron of the Pack is. Endless kms on the front never looking for help, never concerned about the energy saving draft he was offering to the other 4 jackels. Ridin’ like The Boss.
Attrition eventually took it’s toll and things fell out as they should. Chops and TYG tore away from The Old Man and Noilinator on one-too-many climbs at the 55k mark. As the K’s ticked down and Chops began to fidget and salivate like an 8am crack addict that a sprint finish might be possible TYG had to dig deeper into his ammo bags for some armour piercing clips and unleash a torrent of World Cup level firepower on Chops to dislodge him. These 2 heavyweights TT’ed to the line with TYG building on his April Roubaix success by winning the 1st Bear Scare 80 in a touch under 3hrs. The Old Man forced himself to get harder than De Niro in The Deer Hunter and rolled solo for 3rd while JB and Noilinator went Ali and Frazier on each other and rolled in together for 4th/5th. The Kluester cashed in on a brilliant set of legs and rolled in for 6th with Green Shorts New Guy beside him. The Z-Machine brushed off the previous nights 60k ride to mark the course and stomped home as the first woman. Most Sport(wo)manslike Conduct award goes to the fairer half of Team Graller, heavy hitter Enid, who stopped to provide some trailside mechanical assistance. Not to be outdone RG threw a patch kit to Simmer to save him a 40 k walk back to the pits when his spare tube proved to be as hole riddled as the one he was replacing.
Riders rolled back to The Bike and Bean and promptly settled into patio party mode, downing brewskies and grilled panini’s while cheering on the other finishers and shooting the proverbial shit about their rides. Topic commonalities included: cramps, heat, flats, bear shit and good times. Thumbs up was the general consensus- Thanks for coming out and looking forward to seeing you all again in ‘11.
